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Allow me to introduce myself; I am King Arthur of Notalot. I am master of my domain, slayer of dragons, ruler of islands, and leader of knights, I also moonlight cutting corners off tables.
I search for a damsel to distress. (Court jester runs up and whispers something in his ear) Oh, sorry, IN distress, not TO distress. Things aren't the same at the castle; rumor has it that dragons are now extinct. We've found the Holy Grail, the Huns are now our best friends, and PETA is getting on our case about riding horses with all that heavy armor.
But I come not here to tell you the problems of the kingdom, but to invite you into it. I have waited long for the maiden to become my queen. I am a handsome king, or at least my subjects tell me so for fear of their lives, and I would treasure the verbal jousting of a maiden with wit. I have searched woman seeking hot sex Crocketville South Carolina patiently, but a good queen is hard to find. Even a visiting princess to share the company of a meal would be welcome.
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Until we meet again for the first time
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