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• Lonely mature searching horny fucking Bathurst Spanking SWF, 5'5, 185, ddd cup, and needing a spanking Maybe you single lady looking sex tonight Pawleys Island have a strap or paddle? Castle OK sex dating Where are You? m4w You know that I looked for you most of my life. I was locked in a prison of marriage with a person who didn't really like me for 13 years. For over 10 of those years I slept alone and dreamed about you while she put me down and criticized me. I dreamed about you often. What would you look like? Would you ever be able to love me? Would you be pretty and classy? Would I ever really find you? I thought about your hair, your eyes, your laugh, your sense of humor and I was afraid to hope for too much. To tell you the truth I knew I wasn't much and if I found you and you liked me, you would be getting the short end of the stick. I really only hoped that you would love me with all your heart, that I would be your dream guy. The one person you couldn't live without, but then I would think that can never happen. No one wants you, women don't love guys like you. You are doomed to be the friend, the "you're just like a brother to me" guy. It didn't seem to matter that I was hard working, had a good job, was funny and everyone loved to laugh and joke with me at the parties I would go to. Women only saw the country boy who drove race cars and old trucks. The guy who was a little shy with women and a little old fashioned. I looked for signs that you were out there in every pair of eyes and you never were. I was always excited to look for you, and always disappointed when you weren't there. What I figured out later was that it wasn't time for me to find you yet.
  I finally met you years later after I had given up ever finding you. It was a meeting in the most unlikely place. Karaoke is not where I expected to find you. I was on the stage being goofy when your sister brought you in to meet me. My divorce was behind me but nothing had led me to believe that that being lonely was ever going to change. I was destined to be alone. As soon as you walked through the door your smile lit up the entire bar. We danced and laughed all night long, we talked and it was like spending the whole night with my best friend. I can never remember having so much fun or being this comfortable with anyone. I got to let down my guard and be myself. Not only was it alright with you, but you really seemed to like who I was. The night went by way to fast and before I knew it, it was time to go home.
  The next night I had been set up on date with a different woman already, but I wanted to spend time with you instead. I really wanted nothing more than to spend the night looking into your eyes and getting to know everything about you but my friends had taken the time and effort to set me up on this other date so I decided that I could not back out. As luck would have it, my date for that night couldn't make it. My friends had been at the bar the night before and suggested that I invite you on our double date. I jumped at the chance, but then I got scared. What if you said no? What if I had read you all wrong and you were just being polite. What if you had no intention of seeing me ever again? It took all the courage I could muster but I did you, and what a surprise! You not only said yes, but you really sounded excited. My heart was beating so fast when we came to pick you up. When we got to our destination my first date decided that she could make it after all and showed up. So I spent the night with you on one side of me and a very nice lady on the other side. She handled it well and you handled it like a pro, but it was the most awkward date I had ever been on. At the end of that night she got in her car and we got into the back of my friends truck. I mustered up my courage and reached for your hand and you gladly let me take it. We rode the whole way home in silence just smiling at each other and holding hands. I got that one kiss as you got out of the truck at your sister's house and I couldn't sleep all night.... I was on cloud nine.
  Your Sister invited me for dinner the next night and I couldn't wait to see you again. All day long I was a nervous wreck, counting down the hours until we would be together again. After I met your beautiful children and got to hear stories about you growing up from your sister we moved out onto her porch swing and started to talk about anything and everything. All night long we told stories and talked about our dreams. We were so different, but in a way that complimented each other. I remember thinking maybe she is made for me. We talked about the nightmare that was both of our former lives, it turned out that you had lived through a similar fate. He locked you away from the world for 10 years, he had taken you for granted and when it was convenient he threw you away like an old piece of trash. I told you about what I had been through and you held my hand and listened like your life depended on what I was saying. Somewhere around six in the morning you leaned over and we really kissed, and we kissed again. I loved the feel of you against me and smell of your skin. We didn't make out for very long, but it was the most intense of my life. When the sun came up I kissed you goodbye and went home to sleep and shower but as soon as I could I came back. We hung around together for the early afternoon chatting with your sister and brother in-law. We ate another dinner together and then we ended up back in the porch swing. Once again we talked and kissed until the sun came up. Just before I left you looked me in the eye and said "I think I have found my dream man". I was headed down that road at 90 miles an hour anyway but that pushed me over the edge, I was in love.
  The next six years were a dream to me. The time flew by so fast. Every day I woke up to your smile and every night went to bed with your leg draped over mine. We shared so many adventures, went to new places, walked on the beach, kissed while we watched the sunset. We went camping and we went to the symphony. We would spend one weekend four wheeling and the next at the Art Museum. We laughed every day and held each other when one of us needed it. I was as open to experience your life as you were to experience my life. I felt like I was living my very own love story. We bought our dream house, you worked your way through school while I was promoted at work. Our family melted together so well that it was almost like the kids were meant to be brothers and sisters. I fell in love with your children like you did mine. I always felt like it was just an extension of loving you. It was so awesome to see my children have you to look up to and love them. We spent a wonderful week in Vegas where we were married by the King. Through it all I would wake up every morning thinking I love you more than I did yesterday. I had found the person I had been searching for my whole life and you were so much more than I had any right to want. Every time I would see you I would say "there you are!" and you always seemed to know why. You were the most beautiful woman I had ever known. Not just your face and body, but your smile, your personality, you love, compassion, and your tireless concern for everyone around you. You were so classy and so refined. You were cultured and educated and you had cute wild side. My friends were a little leery at first. "She has how many kids?" they would ask. It didn't take long for them to see what I saw all along and all of their worries were gone. My family adopted you from the first moment they met you and your family did the same with me. You were always so quick to laugh and you had a laugh that would make my whole day. I have always been silly and goofy but for you my love I was even more so. I would do anything to make you smile or laugh. It would make me so happy to see you happy. You had become my whole life.
  Things can never stay the same and that can be said about us. One day you told me your co-worker said your eyes were yellow, I had no idea what that could mean but it scared the hell out of me. For over a month we rode a roller coaster ride, never really knowing how bad things were or how what to expect next. You were so strong, I tried to be strong with you but it was hard. I went with you to all of your doctor's appointments hoping for good news, but there was none to be had. I watched you get sicker and sicker. I still had to work, we were all sure you would be fine. The doctors all thought there wouldn't be any problems but there were. In the end you fought like you have always done and when it was time you slipped away.
  It hasn't been very long since you left me, but I still look for you. Every day, everywhere I go. I wake up in the middle of the night and your name. This hurts so badly. I typed this note to you as therapy for myself. I have no doubt that you knew how I felt about you because I did everything I could to show you every day. I also have no doubt that you loved me, I saw that every time I looked in to those beautiful eyes of yours or every time you touched me. You never thought you were good enough in any way sweetheart, and I wanted to tell you that you were the bar everyone else strives to achieve. You made me a better man, I miss you every second. I will always love you and I will always miss you. I will do my best to take good care of your babies and I will do my best to be the man you thought I was. I can think of no better way to honor your memory. I love you baby and I'll be along when things are done here, I still have some things to take care of.
  
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