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    Three dates to pick from! In the spirit of the new year, and the fact Im going to play in the snow all day today with my dog, I thought it would be fun to get creative first and offer not one, but three dates! "Oh my god", you say. I know, its amazing. You are free to choose any of the following if you are so inclined, or perhaps all three. Who knows, maybe Ill have a different woman for each date. Yes, I can be that cheeky.
    Lets first dispose of the usual; tall, fit, clean, handsome, professional, playful, courteous, adventurous, well travelled, employed, and blah blah blah. You get the gist of it. I get comments towards my better-than-average-ness on a fairly regular basis. And Im quite unassuming when people first meet me.
    As far as you goes; somewhat in line with what you feel I represent and both willing and capable of performing and enjoying the following. So, onto the potential dates!
    Date 1. We travel up to Ape Caves. It will take many hours if not turn into a whole day event (for the whole date). We should pack snacks and drinks and water proof attire. In the utter darkness of the earth well turn our lights off and attempt to locate one another with just our sense of touch. Upon finding each other well tingle with anticipation as our faces touch one another, until we both lose our breath as our lips embrace. We may enjoy each other for a few minutes before we illuminate our path once again to press on. Perhaps well even hold hands on the lovely hike back down. And well enjoy getting warm again upon reaching the car with a lovely story to share when we get back. Never in your life will you have that amazing of a first kiss story. Your friends will be green with envy and you will chuckle at their paltry attempts to out-do you.
    Date 2. We head over to Powells in down town. We head over to the romance novel section and find a random trashy novel that has a picture of a hunky guy holding some damsel in a dress. Then well flip it open till we find a juicy part. Then well narrate it aloud in a very melodramatic way. I of course, will adopt a rather entertaining feminine persona and take on the character of the damsel about to be ravished by you, the hunky masculine male who adorns the cover. After my bosom finally recovers from all the heaving it has been doing from all the lavish attention from your strong hands well head over to the water front and enjoy a lovely walk where you enjoy my masculinity. Its tiring being the man isnt it? No worries, Ill handle it from there and make you feel at ease.
    Date 3. We stop by the grocery store. "The grocery store?", you might ask. "That sounds like the most boring date in the history of boring dates. You sir, must be very boring." Well, now that you have struck a blow to my ego, Ill have to find someone else to help me acquire the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies. Thats right you presumptuous heathen you. I was going to suggest we head back to one of our respective homes to back a delicious batch of cookies to split over a glass of milk. And no, I will be the one doing to baking. Jeeze, are you going to be this difficult during the date? After I entice your nose with the sweet scent of deliciousness? Far be it from me offering to take care of your milk mustache in a most pleasurable way now! No cookies for you!
    So there you have it. I am well aware of the craziness of these ideas. Who in their right mind would do such things with a total stranger? The bold; thats who! But fair enough, some people like to insure at least a smidge of trust before such a forward commitment to the most amazing date(s) theyve ever been on. But thats up to you. Ive already come up with 3 of them, you can come up with the first meet and greet if you really need to, but god help you if you cant think of anything better than getting a drink at some coffee shop.
    Or you know just grab life by the balls for once and get all that crap out of the way VIA , then phone or text before we go out next weekend.

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