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Fakes, spammers, hunters: move on! Been doing this long enough to know when someone is fake! Have enough respect not to try! To that "real" woman, please read on! I know that women read the ads. Met my first FWB years ago through here. She graduated and moved on. She was a wonderful person and we still speak frequently. She's just nowhere in the area to hang out with. I know that you don't know sometimes what you're getting, afraid of being discovered, wanting to be discreet. Hoping to find someone nice, but have heard the about the creeps and stalkers. I'm none of that. I'm patient and understanding. Yes, I'm a MWM. My wife and I are open and we're both completely okay with finding our own friends in addition to loving each other. We have NO drama or jealousy. Our only rule is that family and work come first! I'm looking for someone that doesn't have drama either. Someone that wants to be friends with the benefits that can come with that type of a relationship. Yes, that includes sex. But I'm not going to be the demanding type of what I want or expect. Friends don't have those issues. If you're married, that's fine. I love my wife and won't talk ill or bad about her. I expect the same if you have a spouse or boyfriend. I'm not looking for a relationship past the friendship. I'm not keen on negative people. I'm looking for someone fun. Someone that likes to text every now and then, be flirty, put a smile on each other's face. Someone we can each other friends if we're out in public without smirks from people we know, because we act just like that: friends. Appearance is superficial to me. I like someone honest, not afraid to discuss their emotions, things in life they want, etc. Good conversation! Those things are more attractive to me than looks! Though taking care of yourself is important! I can work around your family, , etc. as long as you don't mind working around mine! I'd love to hear back from you. I'm clean, height and weight . I'm very discreet. I don't drink or do at all. I've never been in trouble with the and I've got a professional career. I love action , romantic comedies and older . I cook, fish and hunt. If you reply, please put "Female FWB" in the subject. I hate using , because I know this will create a ton of spam. Willing to take that chance for the right person. Know this, I will not send a , expect the same of you; until we're both comfortable with it! Lonely mature searching fucking dating Gracefield
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~ Some interesting facts about sex, love and the related stuff ~ The average person spends 2 weeks of its life kissing. For every normal webpage, there are porn pages. (how can they all stay in business??) Sex is biochemiy no different from eating large quantities of chocolate. (define large quantities) A man's beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex. (this is why women like male facial hair) Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It is million sexual intercourse taking place all over the world. Women who read romance novels have sex twice as often as those who dont. (now you know why women like them!) Males, on average, think about sex every 7 seconds. (thats it? I thought it was every 3 seconds) 85% of men who die of heart attacks during intercourse, are found to have been cheating on their wives. (justice) The greatest recorded number of one mother had was 69 . (OWW!) 25% of women think money makes a man sexier. (and some women think is sexy on a guy) The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were: and Flintstone. (those perverts!) Duck comics were once banned from Finland because doesnt wear pants. The average shelf-life of a latex is about two years. The word "gymnasium" comes from the Greek word gymnazein which means "to exercise ." (and here I thought it meant. . ."meat) Humans, bonobo monkeys, and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (did anyone ask them?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. Male and female rats may have sex twenty times a day. Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal. (gives whole new meaning to the term, gay- ) When swans go on a date, they'll put their heads together. Then they stick together for life. Turkeys can reproduce without having sex. Its ed parthenogenesis. (unfortunately, not after they are in your freezer for Thanksgiving) Snakes have two sex organs. A pigs orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (who doesnt pigs now?) Ithyphallophobia is a morbid fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis. (didnt this used to be ed frigid??) 75% of most women will read this and msg me on my I/M with "SCREAM MY NAME" _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ****** i/m...Screen Name: terry_nyte ****** _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ~ 19 Ways to be Offensive at a Wedding ~ *Show up with a and claim he belongs to the newlyweds. *Cover yourself with glue to improve your chances of the bouquet. *Offer to show people pictures of the having sex with a dog. *Tell people that you knew the before the sex change operation. *Tell the that the only reason you can look at her is that you used to be a proctologist. *Instead of a standard gift, give the newlyweds a gift certificate for a rehab. clinic. *As you move down the receiving line, spit on each person. *Ask the 's mother to give you a hand job. *Give the some , and tell her it the taste of sperm. *Propose a toast to the 's nose job. *Steal the cards from the wedding gifts so no one can tell who they came from. *Walk up to various guests and demand to see their invitations. *After the throws her garter, start people chanting, "Throw your , throw your ." *Tell everyone that the groom had to be given to keep him from backing out. *Tell the rabbi that there's no money to pay him, and ask if he'll settle for stupping the . *Assure the 's mother that the groom is hung like a . *Return a which the left in your car. *If there's a hunchback at a wedding tell him that he has to wear one yarmukle on his head and another on his hump. *When the is coming down the aisle, push the organist out of the way and start playing, "The Lady is a Tramp." _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ~ Snappy Comebacks to Why aren't you married yet? ~ You haven't asked yet. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life. What? And spoil my great sex life? Nobody would believe me in white. Because I just love hearing this question. Just lucky, I guess. It gives my mother something to live for. My fiancee is awaiting his/her parole. I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America. Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon? I'm waiting until I get to be your age. It didn't seem worth a test. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating. My board doesn't allow spouses. I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund. They just opened a great singles bar on my block. I wouldn't want my parents to drop from sheer happiness. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals. What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads? We really want to, but my lover's spouse just won't go for it. I don't want to have to support another person on my . Why aren't you thin? I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation. (Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a would be redundant. ~ ~
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